Do you enter an investigation and immediately take over or control the vibe? If you’re one of those people who metaphorically bursts through the saloon doors and screams “Howdy, Mother F-ers,” then you probably won’t attract a lot of available spirit voices. Those you do get might be thrilled to react predictably negative to all that bravado. You could record the occasional “jackass,” but they also just might laugh behind your back and say nothing.
If you should happen to meet a guy known as the Baltimore Strangler, how quickly should you mention the moniker? Certainly not in the first 5 minutes – he has a name, and spirits are not single issue creatures. Of course he killed fourteen ladies in their sleep. Yes, he used an ax and the sheriff had to blow a hole in his gut, but in spite of these facts, he was also a person. Hard to believe, but he had other, more understandable interests, and if you wanna hear from the guy, you should probably drop the bad ass attitude and ask him how his day was. There’s plenty of time to get into his murderous depravity.
I’m over-simplifying things, but it’s still a good point. Just because the spirit you would like to talk to might have hung herself from the ceiling rafters doesn’t mean your first question ought to be “why did you hang yourself from the rafters?” It might serve you better to ask her if this was her home, or if she minds you coming to visit, or if she is responsible for the smell of perfume in the air. Let her know you’re happy to provide a forum; that she can say anything she wishes and it will be respected. There’s no upside in judging her – even if she feels she has something to be judged for. No one appointed you to adjudicate the dead.
Sometimes, showing a little of our own vulnerability can go a very long way toward believably claiming that we’re not there to judge them. Talk to them – we have to quickly show a genuine interest, so don’t be superficial. They’re not spiritual outcasts – ya gotta make some effort. Find a way to relate and show some empathy; try to put yourself in their shoes for a change. Before we take charge of the vibe in the room, remember we really have no idea who we’re talking to anyway. Behave!