“Is anyone here?”

A paranormal investigator walks into an abandoned bar and asks, “Is anyone here?” And a disembodied voice says no.

That’s it. Thats the punchline, folks. That’s all there is, and it actually happened to me, once upon a time, exactly that way. Well, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable question to ask at the time. When I heard the answer, I got quite a laugh, but then I slowly began to feel incredibly stupid. I don’t ask that question any more. I rank it right up there with the times that an EVP voice has outright told me my questions were “dumb.” (I appear to be the only person to ever admit to such a response.)

Regardless, that’s actually very good advice from beyond the veil; I consider myself blessed. Our comments often suggest that we’re just not operating with functioning brains, but we shouldn’t feel too bad – we all do it. “Show yourself. Give me a sign. Do you know you’re dead? I won’t hurt you. Are you lost? Go to the light. Didn’t you used to be so-and-so?” And on and on… The totality of our thickheadedness seems to be endless. We appear quite willing to be nothing more than the purveyors of hackneyed nonsense, and like a mouse in a trap, we’re a stereotype. At first, it’s all cheese heaven, but eventually…

I won’t presume to tell you how to talk on an investigation, but appearing to be more of a mental equal might give the spirit better motivation to converse with you. At the very least, we ought to act as though we have some sense; maybe spend more time expressing an interest in “them” than we do in repeating our same worn-out, silly routine. We can capture just as much proof that someone is there by asking smarter questions, and the better choices we make improves our chances of learning something significant. We have to see it from their point of view and stop wasting everyone’s time.

“But Randy,” you may say, “at least in the joke, the paranormal investigator got an answer.” Yes, but thats not the real punch line. The real punch line is that he heard nothing at all. And that’s not funny either.
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Also visit The Voices Blog at http://thevoicesblog.wordpress.com

Seen and Not Heard

A little quiet goes a long long way. I’m amazed at how many paranormal investigators have trouble keeping their mouths shut. I know that’s blunt, but sometimes being blunt is the only way to get the message across. We need to understand that our incessant chatter bothers everyone – including spirits. How could they possibly communicate with us when we’re so busy finding new reasons to flap our gums? We’re supposed to be providing a natural and inviting environment for them to speak; an encouraging atmosphere that’s focused on them – not us.

My most satisfying investigations are always the quiet ones, when hardly a word is spoken. I think we should indicate that we’re ready to listen, and that usually comes by being quiet. I’ve remained totally hushed for ten minutes or more before breaching the silence with my first question or comment – spacing my remarks within long gaps of nothing. This doesn’t always provide a ton of EVP, but sometimes it does, and the results are clean and easier to decipher.

Once, I only asked three short questions in the space of half an hour. “Do you live here with the Smiths? What do you do here? Why don’t you just calm down and give these people some peace?” I captured eleven responses during that time and discovered that the spirit did not actually stay in the house, that he liked to visit in the morning, and that he came there because they made him laugh. That’s a lot, don’t you think? It was a great exchange, and to this day, I think the spirit was so forthcoming because he knew I was actually listening. My visit was clearly all about him – not me, and why not – that’s the whole point.

Unfortunately, not all investigations can provide the kind of laid back situation I just described, but there’s no reason for us to contaminate the scene with our constant yammering. The goal isn’t to see how many questions we can ask, you know. The goal is to see how many responses we can capture. My grandmother used to say that “children should be seen and not heard.” Sometimes that applies to paranormal investigators as well.
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Also visit The Voices Blog at http://thevoicesblog.wordpress.com